Depression generally comes in two broad diagnosis, “reactive depression” which is depression resulting from external sources and “endogenous depression” which generally has a suspected biological root, medical cause, or other predisposition.
Sadness which is the God-given reaction to loss to help with grieving, is different than depression. The symptoms of depression include decreased energy, inability to concentrate, withdrawal, and suicidal thoughts.
If you suspect a person is struggling with depression or they say they are depressed, always ask them about self-harm or attempted suicide, and if they have a plan or means to harm themselves or others, or have done so already, call for help immediately by dialing 9-1-1.
If they are in a depressive state, it will often help to begin talking about what and how they are feeling. Sadly, there is much stigma attached to depression, and so like a deep well it may take time to draw out honesty.
Be patient. Listen without judgement, show genuine acceptance and gentleness.
Some questions that help stir up initial conversation, may include:
“How long have you felt depressed?”
“What has happened up to this point in your life that has made you feel depressed? “
“Do you have a family or personal history with depression?” or “Do you know anyone else who has been depressed?”
This is a great time to show the compassion of Christ in what we call the ministry of presence. Patience in silence is better than shallow words.
Fear and anxiety are leading causes, asking “Are you afraid about something right now? Is there something heavy on your heart?” This may open up opportunity to pray for and encourage with the word of God (Anxiety in the heart of man causes depression, but a good word makes it glad.” Prov. 12:25).
Further, hope is an excellent deterrent to depression, asking something like “what do you see in your future?” or “How do you think you will beat depression?” may open up discussion for Hope in Christ.
A few verses I remember when ministering to someone with depression
Psalm 42:5 “Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance.
Isaiah 61:3 “To console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord that He may be glorified.
Romans 12:15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep”
Often the Lord leads me to counsel through Psalm 77.
I will often pray the individual will see the experience of the psalmist, as similar to their own.
Verse 1 captures the belief that God will answer when we call Him. For someone who is battling depression maybe at one time they too held this belief, and now perhaps they have grown tired of asking for help.
Verse 2 expresses their initial faithfulness and eagerness to hear from God. How they pursued Him.
Verse 3 goes deeper, with the psalmist expressing severe fatigue and anguish.
Verse 4 Illuminates how we often feel, exhausted yet unable to sleep. Wanting to cry, but not being able to make a noise.
Verse 5 paints a picture of remorse, or nostalgia, and a longing for the good days prior.
Verse 6 provides insight into the psalmists own failed attempts at coping, and regulating, yet how they continued in frustration and confusion.
Verse 7 reflects how many feel, rejected and cursed in their depression
Verse 8 shows how doubt creeps in and our faith can be challenged.
Verse 9 may spark deeper thoughts or feelings we may feel in depression towards God.
And then Verse 10, like a sudden jolt awake, the writer has a moment of clarity. They recognize their wrong thinking, self pity and doubt. They, like we pray for our counselee’s, are suddenly convicted by the Holy Spirit and begin to turn around.
Verse 11 calls remembrance to action. A time of study or introspection to reflect on what God has done since creation, what is explicitly stated in scripture and what we ourselves have seen in or around us.
Verse 12 pulls even closer, with urgency to think or meditate on what God has done, His good deeds. Going beyond remembrance, this is intentional and contemplative time of meditation and prayer.
Verses 13-20 are the appropriate response to all He has done and who He is, and that is worship.
We can see the following:
He is extraordinary, above all of our own understanding.
He is incomparable to any, and all other “gods”, or what we have sought to save us.
He is a the strong deliverer.
He is rightfully above and superior to all natural forces, even fear and the unknown submit to God.
He wields rain, wind and lightning to display His might over His (and your) enemies!
He is unstoppable and determined in His wilful purpose and action, even when not known to us.
Yet, despite all of this, depression seems to be more powerful.
So how do we realign our hearts to hope?
I recall the commands of 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 – “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
Can we rejoice in our depression? Can we pray? Can we give thanks for this season?
Practically, I think there is a good reason to revisit verse 12.
I will consider all your works and meditate on all your mighty deeds.
Psalm 77:12
Yes, whatever suffering may be present and made manifest in depression, sadness or pain, is very, very real. It is experienced and should not be ignored or disregarded. But if we turn our focus from it, from ourselves and our circumstances, and instead towards God and what He is doing and has done, we are reminded of hope.
I will try and explain through a personal story.
My friend experienced a terrible breakup with betrayal, shame and anger. He quickly became depressed and lost his way. He suffered for months. He indulged in all sorts of self serving and destructive patterns. As a recovering addict, this was incredibly risky time. After some long conversations and prayerful meetings, we dug into psalm 77 together.
He would agree with the summary presented above, and wanted to restore his heart towards worship. We read verse 12 a few times, and sat in silence.
I then asked him to start writing down the good things he sees in his life. I said give me 5 you see today, 5 you have seen this month and 5 this year.
After some time, and some prompting, he replied:
“I woke up today… with food… a house… good physical health… and this conversation”
“Summer weather has been nice… lots of family gatherings… enjoying my bike… enjoying surfing… a lot of great friends”
“My new job pays well… I released a music album with a new band… I went on a great vacation… I had experienced a lot of spiritual growth… and I feel personally I have matured a lot this year”
And so I asked, who’s work was this?
We experience the bounty of the Lords work on our behalf. All these things can and should be attributed to Gods goodness.
We start to turn our eyes back to God, instead of our own depressive mood. We make more of Him, and less of our circumstances. We are reminded that He who is eternally faithful, can and will restore us and redeem even this time of suffering.
In time and repeated practice, my friend found this exercise increasingly helpful as ultimately the Lord released him from his depression.
One final note, I do firmly believe that at times (not all the time) depression is the work of a serious demonic force, and we must always evaluate the entire situation to see if there is unrepentant sin or demonization or other means of spiritual warfare occurring. I recommend Sam Storms books “practicing the power” and “understanding spiritual warfare” for further consideration.
If you or someone you know is in need of help, please connect with a faithful pastor, biblical counselor or utilize the contact form on Good&Well.
Peace be with you.
Good&Well 