C.S. Lewis spoke on the “inner ring” while commenting in Tolstoy’s War and Peace. Everyone should read that essay. It is brilliant.

The idea is simple, as people we will always desire the most exclusive group. We want the secret knowledge, power and insight. We want the feeling of being “in”. No matter how “in” we are, we want to go deeper, and further, to the core. Lewis argues every group, religious, vocational or social has the same inner circles, and we all are driven to be in, and scared to be out.

 “I believe that in all men’s lives at certain periods, and in many men’s lives at all periods between infancy and extreme old age, one of the most dominant elements is the desire to be inside the local Ring and the terror of being left outside”

Lewis

To be clear, to have an inner ring (or close friends) is not in and of itself sinful or bad! Christ surrounded himself with 12 of His disciples, though he had upwards of 72, and yet he even seemed to be closest to a select few. Peter, James and John, were in fact His inner circle.

I would assume, like in our day, Paul and Peter’s contemporaries would have the same bend towards “belonging”, and at its worst this could lead to two opposite ends of the same spectrum. This is the same for us modern humans.

On one end we have the “pride” of belonging. We use our exclusive position, or hierarchy, for our own glory. Even to the extent of a complete inward gloating. We esteem ourselves. We, after all, belong.

Then, on the other end, there is the resentment of being excluded. The bitterness, turned anger for being rejected or the FOMO which fills our hearts and minds with crippling anxiety. It is all gut-wrenching, soul crushing and joy robbing. After all, we belong! How dare they not let us in!

I once read a Chinese fortune cookie that read, “Soon longing to be, will turn to belonging.” That is pretty deep for novelty desert. There is some truth, we were made to belong, to have communion with God and His creation, including our fellow man. It is the world of sin that makes a beautiful thing such as deep unity, a thing for divison and destruction.

But alas, Paul spent 15 days with Peter, listening and apperently also visited, James.

“But I saw none of the other apostles except James the Lord’s brother.”

Galatians 1:19

You see, Paul could have had a whole different and more sinful perspective. He could have insisted he met with everyone. Forced his way in to the inner ring. Closer to Christ. To the Apostles. To the movement. He could have tried to manipulate meetings and people to gain inner access, and to climb the perceivable spiritual ladder. He could have. But he didn’t.

Likewise, I don’t think his statement here is necessarily a “name drop”. He isn’t claiming any superiority for hanging out with or being approved by James. By being more important or spiritual by association. In fact, I think the only reason why he even mentioned “the Lord’s brother” was for differentiation from the other James in the group… you know, the one closer to Jesus. After all, this James was seemingly more like Paul. Like Paul he didn’t believe, until Jesus appeared to him alive after his Crucifixion (see 1 Corin 15:7).

So then what?

Well, Paul once again gives us a simple example of humility. People are not just stepping stones to getting to where we want, or what we want. People are not valued because of what or who they know.

On the contrary, people themselves are valuable because they are fellow image bearers, marred by sin, saved by grace, living for Christ. We need to evaluate how we use and ultimately abuse those around us. We need to evaluate our desires for inner circles, and actively work against pride and FOMO.

Instead, we should be thankful, knowing that every relationship God puts before us, is an opportunity to glorify Him. We model Christ as we encourage, spur on, and care for, or carry burdens of others. We also model Christ as we humbly submit to others, and receive the same kinds of encouragement, spurring, caring and carrying.

Of course, sometimes relationships are really hard, and sometimes we need a bit more help dealing with pride, selfishness, anger and anxiety, among other relational difficulties. When this is true we can often enlist the help of faithful pastors, elders and church leaders.

Good&Well is always here to help you by equipping you or your team to serve others, or to serve and minister to you directly. Contact us today.

Peace be with you!