“But you, dear friends, by building yourselves up in your most holy faith, by praying in the Holy Spirit.” Jude 20.

I have known so many Christians who have said, they “don’t like to pray out loud”. So many people have told me, they “don’t know how to pray”. Students have expressed a lack of confidence in prayers purpose and importance, because “they don’t understand it.”

First, and this will be as brief as possible, lets define prayer.

Prayer, or communication with (a singular/plural) god(s), is not unique to Christianity, or the ancient Hebrews. Typically it is intended for addressing the deity directly, for the purpose of petition or praise. Ancient Egyptians prayed to their gods Amon-Re and Aton-Re. The Sumarians prayed to their god Ishtar and with the Akkadians prayed to Shamash, Sin and Adad. What is unique to the tradition of prayer within the ancient Hebrews is the strong theme of monotheism. That they only prayed to Yahweh. Further, that their prayer took on a very real form of dialogue. As if Yahweh was not only listening, but was also answering, there was a genuine expectation to receive a form of response. In ancient literature, the gods never replied in spoken or written word, yet the Hebrews recorded Gods direct responses.

It is very important to understand, true prayer is not divination, manipulation or ritualistic persuasion. It is not a way to get some secret knowledge, your way, or something you want. Its not ceremonious or spiritual dances, repeated chanting or any form of mysticism.

True prayer is talking to, and hearing from God.

Prayers evolved from very their simple, informal and spontaneous nature into more rigid forms and standards as the temple service, laws, and Levitical order were ordained and developed. Like the psalms in their form of poetry, many prayers were recorded and intended for corporate and written use, for theological or liturgical purposes. In this sense there is a historical record of what was said, or communicated to God. The bible is full of scripture which records how he responded, or answered, prayers of His faithful people.

I have a bit of a prayer journal myself. I record these prayers and will recall them, and record the testimonies of God as He answers them. Its amazing to look back over years of prayer, to see how God has been immeasurably faithful.

But this isn’t always the case. Many people I talk to feel like God never answers their prayers.

The spouse dying of cancer. The parents of a wayward child. The unrelenting family problems. The cries for freedom from substance abuse. The deep wounds of trauma.

All being prayed over and for… yet nothing changes.

Some argue this is because the individuals praying or being interceded for, lack sufficient faith. That they aren’t praying in the Spirit. I wholeheartedly deny this.

Lets look to Christ. As I mentioned prayer had seemingly grown in the Jewish tradition from an informal, heart language to a more rigid religious one. Not that formal prayers are bad, but that the Jews had replaced personal relationship with religious duty. This is when the disciples asked, “Lord, teach us to pray.”

At first recollection of this account in Luke’s gospel we may be compelled to elevate the disciples faith. A little deeper and we understand, since their time with Christ, Jesus had modeled a deep and personal prayer life. In this instance, He had just returned from praying (alone) and his followers asked to be taught to pray… like how John taught his disciples to pray. They were genuinely eager to learn, but I would argue their intentions were still a little sideways.

They wanted the experience, emotion and excitement of prayer and wrongfully assumed it was how you prayed that would unlock such mysteries and sensational power.

So Jesus gave them a very basic format, and a sorted parable about getting what you need, seeking and good gifts. In the end, He said;

If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!

Luke 11:13 NIV

The Lords prayer isn’t a perfect formula that God blesses. That would be paganism akin to conjuring. It isn’t a “deeper” or more “spiritual” prayer. What Jesus describes is a path of honesty and vulnerability, rooted in worship, intended to pour out our deep needs. It acknowledges our depraved state, as it forms a cry out for strength and mercy.

But words are not enough.

The promise is that God, our Father, gives us the gift of the Spirit for the purpose of prayer. He gives us the Spirit to intertwine our communion with Him. When we pray in our prideful flesh we neglect the ministry of the Spirit. We forsake His good gift.

So, how do we know if we are praying in the flesh, or Spirit?

Well if flesh is synonymous with human pride, we should start in humility. We should confess our need and inability for the Spirit. We confess our smallness, in relation especially to Gods wonder and beauty. Worship imparts a grand measure of humility on the heart and helps us become spiritually prostrate before Him. The more He is, the less we are. This is a good place to start.

Second, we remember this is not like a scornful father who forbids his child’s nearness, but rather a deep and personal communion with the living God. We can enjoy prayer, and our relationship with the living God. The Spirit in us, brings us before the Rightous One, adored and free, to be lovingly received in His presence. We don’t need to rush in, or say all the right things, or use fancy words to obtain this. We need to accept His ministry. This is a joy, not a job.

Third, rightfully humbled in the very presence of God, we pour out or hearts desire. We make our requests known. The Spirit speaks from our humbled, worshiping hearts. Romans 8:26 tells us,

In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express.”.

Romans 8:26 NIV

Prayer leads to faith.

As I mentioned, many people will argue the faithful person becomes the prayerful person. That is, if they are faithful enough, their prayers have more “spiritual clout” or that God rewards the faithful with answered prayers. Sadly, this creates a conflicting relationship as “unanswered” prayers continually deflate “waning” faith. The cancer grows, the child never returns and the drugs destroy.

What if we could understand that the biblical concept of prayer is opposite? What if we understood that prayer leads to faith. Prayer, provides a repeated and continuous communion with God that we need to get to know Him. Our knowing Him grows the gift of faith promised in Ephesians 2:8. The more we know Him, the more we see Him, the more we understand how and when He works. The more our prayers mold and move inline with The Spirit, and the more we see our prayers, which are Gods, answered.

And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.

Romans 8:27 NIV

Check out one of my favorite sermons on prayer below.

Peace be with you.